So this week so far has probably been the worst week of my LIFE!I cannot believe how much I have cheated and just not cared about anything. Eating right before bed...unhealthy food at that. Eating everything in sight...its like I'm not even trying...but the most frustrating part of that is knowing what I'm doing and not doing any thing about it....I know what i want but i have just become another one of those people who sit on their ass complaining day in and day out about everything they hate about themselves and not doing a damn thing about it. That is the last kind of person i wanted to be during this process and it is really pissing me off. Why am i not trying harder? Have i become content and comfortable in the body i have developed? How can i be happy though with disgust on my face every time i look in a mirror? Has this fat lining my bones become a comfort blanket? If so what am i afraid of? I think to become successful i need to look past my physical appearance and dig a little deeper into the emotion that has come with gaining this weight...and why i have not had the will to loose it.
Every day when i take a shower i have to see a body that makes me unhappy, and repulses me in a way it shouldn't. I would not be with someone who is like me because i do not find it attractive...how am i supposed to be found attractive with this excess weight? I understand some people don't mind it and some people even like it...but most of the time its people in the same position. I am not happy. I do not look good. I will find my solution and I WILL fix the issues i have with my own body. I will not stand by and watch myself gain more weight become more unhappy and disgusted with myself. I will not sit on my ass all day and do nothing wile complaining about it. From this day out I will try and think about what i am eating, why i am eating it...and think about how this food will affect me in a negative or a positive way.
I figure just changing my diet is not going to work. Clearly i do not have the strength to do just that to loose weight...i must commit more to something to help aid in the depreciation of my fat. I must start working out. Its not like its not fun...a work out buddy would be most help full but the fact that i do not have one cannot be an excuse as to why i am not doing it.
I WILL be me again...I WILL be happy. I WILL loose weight. I WILL stop hiding. I WILL find myself again. I WILL BE STRONG!
Every day when i take a shower i have to see a body that makes me unhappy, and repulses me in a way it shouldn't. I would not be with someone who is like me because i do not find it attractive...how am i supposed to be found attractive with this excess weight? I understand some people don't mind it and some people even like it...but most of the time its people in the same position. I am not happy. I do not look good. I will find my solution and I WILL fix the issues i have with my own body. I will not stand by and watch myself gain more weight become more unhappy and disgusted with myself. I will not sit on my ass all day and do nothing wile complaining about it. From this day out I will try and think about what i am eating, why i am eating it...and think about how this food will affect me in a negative or a positive way.
I figure just changing my diet is not going to work. Clearly i do not have the strength to do just that to loose weight...i must commit more to something to help aid in the depreciation of my fat. I must start working out. Its not like its not fun...a work out buddy would be most help full but the fact that i do not have one cannot be an excuse as to why i am not doing it.
I WILL be me again...I WILL be happy. I WILL loose weight. I WILL stop hiding. I WILL find myself again. I WILL BE STRONG!
Hey this was a very nice post :) I will be following! lol, I wanted to let you know my blog has a new URL and name, its not www.journeytoliving.blogspot.com
ReplyDeletethe old URL looked like I was saying journey to health that college lol made no sense.
I am challenging you my dear Jasmine, I will also be on my journey to health, and I shall kick your ass. :)
Well dear Gaia I accept your challenge. In order for this challenge to be a challenge there must be stakes, a time frame, some guidelines of some sort to make this a competition.
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